


Slow Business

by Bard



Category: Cowboy Bebop
Genre: Bounty Hunters, Gen, Hacking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 22:13:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5472500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bard/pseuds/Bard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why's a woman in the corner with two laptops, goggles, and a dog?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slow Business

**Author's Note:**

  * For [puella_nerdii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/puella_nerdii/gifts).



Nobody liked Aido ‘Eyes’ Daisuke. Nobody on Mars, anyway, but the denizens of Perck’s Pike Bar and Grill--arguably Dayton Crater’s finest dive--would bet nobody on Earth liked him, either. Aido spilled his drinks, he kept his feet on the table, he insulted the regulars. Worst of all, Perck thought in disgust, he’d nicknamed _himself._

Unfortunately, Aido moved almost all of Dayton’s electronics, everything from stolen spaceships to the lights and radio in Perck’s bar. Previously a low-level fence with no affiliations, he’d jumped on the market when the Red Dragon collapsed in 2071. In the nine years since, none of the syndicates had ever come over from Tharsis city to take Dayton’s little market back. In the absence of a syndicate, Aido sat pretty. People may’ve detested him, but it was hard to argue with the prices. Or with the trio of gunner drones that floated alongside him  wherever he went.

So when Aido walked in today, Perck felt a rush of dread. The last time Aido had visited for a drink, his drones had put two holes in his floorboards and one in a miner's knee. Business had been slow since then. All Perck could do was smile into the crimson ocular implants that gave ‘Eyes’ his (self-appointed) name. Hopefully someday someone would put a bullet between them.

Aside from the red-eyed scarecrow strolling to the Pike’s rearmost booth, he counted four customers. Four! On a Saturday! The Pike was the only bounty-free bar in Dayton. A pub without a board full of Wanted posters was supposed to give Perck a built-in audience, scummy and dangerous though that audience may’ve been. Over the past few days, the only customers he’d gotten were the three old men playing poker by the door and the woman with the dog charging electronics in the corner.

“Hey-hey, Mister Perck?” Speak of the devil. She waved from behind her two battered laptops, sitting at the table by the wall outlets. “Can we get another round?”

Perck nodded, starting on her drinks as she approached the bar. He knew the order by now. She’d first stumbled into the Pike Thursday afternoon, covered in dirt and looking for a place to charge her battered equipment. She’d been there constantly since, setting up her computers and only leaving to sleep. Usually, Perck would hate someone using his bar as an all-day coffee shop; the past few days, he was just happy for the business. “Sure, Fran...one bourbon, neat. And one Yebisu...”

“...in a bowl.” Francoise hopped onto a barstool just as he finished, flashing a grateful smile. “1800 woolongs, right?”

“Eh, make it 1200.” Perck wasn’t typically charitable, but Fran was a special case. She was the only customer to call him _mister_. The only one to say _thank you_. And judging by her giant backpack, daily residence in the bar, and aging electronics, she was probably a drifter. A polite drinker with some cash to spare and a lot of time to kill? Perck didn't mind giving her a little encouragement to stick around.

Her eyes widened under her ever-present net-dive goggles. She pushed them up into her unkempt red hair as she handed over her cashcard. “Really?”

“Sure, kid.” He gave the card a swipe. “How often do I get to see a dog drinking beer?”

“Thank you, Mister Perck!” She beamed at him as she took the card back, then practically pranced back to her table without spilling a drop from either drink.  Watching her settle in beside her dog (which put its paws on the edge of the table and daintily licked up its beer), Perck enjoyed a moment’s peace.

“Oi! Mister _Prick_! How bout a round over here too, huh?” Aido waved from his table. The drones whirled to face the bar, bobbing around him like floaters in a pond.

Peace never lasted. Perck bit back curses, grabbed his favorite bottle of whiskey, and wasted two ounces of it in a glass of flat Coke. When Aido didn’t come to take it--because of course he wouldn’t--Perck glared holes in the wall behind him and walked it to his table.

“Two thousand woolongs, Eyes.”

“Oh, no. Oh my. Seems I forgot my wallet.” Aido grinned up at him. “That a problem?”

Perck thumped the highball glass onto the table. Slightly too hard, evidently, because the drones inched closer towards him on all sides. He swallowed, taking a half-step back.

“None at all, Eyes. I’ll put it on your tab.” Aido gave a short laugh and waved him off. Turning away, Perck swore he could feel the drones' barrels boring into him as he walked back towards the bar.

He’d made it halfway there when the overhead speakers went crazy for the third time that month. The Pike’s soundtrack was supposed to be strictly jazz; now it swung from experimental techno to deafening pop-rock to old Earth country music and back again. Perck gave an annoyed look towards the control center behind the bar. The Smart Grid running the Pike's systems was glitching out, _again_. He could see a familiar error message popping up over and over, outlined in red on the screen. He hurried the rest of the way across the bar, wincing at the cacophony of changing stations.

Fran looked up from her whiskey, her goggles aglow. “Mister Perck, would you mind turning the music down?” She frowned down at one of her computers. “Ein and I are having trouble focusing on our work…”

Perck stabbed his fingers against the touchscreen once, twice, three times to no effect. He was considering punching it when, just as abruptly as it had began, the glitching ended. Coltrane’s _A Love Supreme_ quietly filled the room.

Fran raised her glass, eyes back on her computer. “Thank you!”

Perck poured himself a beer and took a long gulp, looking again towards Aido. Half the tech in the bar came straight from Eyes’ shop; maybe the bastard had sold him faulty equipment. “Damn it.” He glanced towards Fran; she and the dog were staring at him. He sighed and took another swallow of beer. “Sorry about that, kid. The outlets still work, right?”

“Yessiree! And the Internet, too.” She gave him a thumbs-up as she took a look around the room. “But that’s so weird. Lights, radio, and um…” She nodded towards the exit. “...I don’t think your holo-advertisements are working right.”

“What?” Perck looked towards the door and saw it was covered in shimmering bands of light instead of the Perck’s Pike logo. “Son of a bitch!“ He slammed his beer down on the bar and stormed towards the exit. “One thing glitches, they all start glitching…”

“Oh?” Fran pushed up her goggles and watched him, taking a sip of her bourbon. “Is all your tech on a grid? Has it done this stuff before?”

“Yeah,” he growled, already wrist-deep in the holoprojector above the door. “And yeah.” Smart Grid? He wondered how he’d ever been stupid enough to buy one from Aido in the first place. Sure, controlling the lights, holos, music and locks from behind the bar was handy, but not if he had to play whack-a-mole with glitchy tech as a result.

Fran made a sympathetic sound, then returned to her screens. “Well, someone sold you some pretty lousy tech, then.”

Perck looked over his shoulder, taking a wary glance at Aido. The scarecrow still sat with his legs up on the table, but now those red eyes were locked right on Fran. “Uh, kid…”

“You must’ve gotten really swindled. A malfunctioning smart grid?” She tsked and shook her head, typing away, oblivious to the thud of Aido’s boots hitting the floor. “You deserve a refund, Mister Perck!”

Aido got up. Swaying a little, he started making his way towards Fran’s table. Perck let the holoprojector go, turning to face her. “Fran, listen, you shouldn’t…”

“I hope you don’t still buy from him. I didn’t know they even made grids that could break anymore!”

“He does buy from me.” Aido’s drones swarmed around Fran’s table. “And my products don’t glitch.”

Fran tilted her head in thought but didn’t look up from her computer, continuing to type. “Lying, lying. You’re selling junk.” Still typing, she looked to Perck. “Who is this guy?”

Aido smacked his hand down on the desk, knocking the bowl of beer to the floor. “I’m Eyes Daisuke, sweetheart.” He slapped one of her laptops closed, leaning in close. “And I killed a guy last week for talking shit about my products.”

Fran finally looked up at him, flashing a broad smile. “Wow, we have been _waiting_ for you! Did you know you have a twenty thousand woolong bounty?” She spun her remaining laptop around for them to see; Aido stared, dumbfounded, at a photo of his own sneering face. “What took you so long to come in? You've kept us killing time here forever-and-ever.” Still smiling, she spun the laptop back and resumed typing. Somewhere, Perck heard a growing electronic whine.

“You’re a _cowboy_? Well, my drones get to kill a bounty hunter today.” Aido stepped back. The drones' gun barrels unfolded from their sides. Fran regarded them, frowned, and typed even faster. The whine grew louder. Aido slapped one of the drones on the side; they advanced on Fran, three barrels pressing against the front and sides of her head.  “You shouldn’t have said I sell junk, kid. I might have let you go.”

“But you do sell junk.” Fran sat back, grinned, and hit the “enter” key with both hands. The electronic whine abruptly stopped.

 

The drones fell to the ground with a crash.

 

Then they beeped, slowly raising back into the air. They returned to their positions on all sides of Fran's head, but their barrels shifted until they pointed straight at Aido’s heart. After a horrified moment, Aido turned, shoved past Perck, and started to run. Perck flinched and put his hands up, expecting a burst of gunfire, but instead of the _rat-a-tat-tat_ of drone cannons he heard skittering paws and an angry growl, followed by a shriek from Aido and the _thud_ of a body hitting the floor. Slowly, Perck lowered his hands and took a cautious look over his shoulder. Aido sprawled across the floor, whimpering; the dog growled and shook his pant leg between its teeth before looking back up towards its owner. 

"Good job, Ein." Fran closed her laptop and put and hand to her ear. "Oh  _Faye-Faye,_ package acquired!"

There was a rush of air outside and the roar of approaching engines. Perck whirled to see a spaceship's floodlights shining through the windows, then turned back to the grinning bounty hunter. "Jesus, Fran--"

"I'm not Fran." Her goggles glowed above her broad smile. "Edward is  _Edward_."

Preck wondered if this would be good or bad for business.


End file.
